30 November 2007


13% of adult conversation involves cussing.

Among college students, the rate is 8.1%.

Part of the reason is that college students talk much more than non-college-attending adults. I cannot remember the last time I cussed, even in my mind. Like Swedish, it's simply not a part of my vocabulary. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I get irritated with somebody just thinking about them and mumble something like,

"You low-down-worthless-good-for-nothing-motherless-pusillanimous-piece-of-vacillating-slug-dung..."

Or something similar.

I don't usually use the word dung in everyday speech-mostly crap-as I feel this covers a greater spectrum of the fecal family continuum. Other words come to mind such as spate, feces, guano, bio-waste, and . . .what's that popular one?

It begins with an s, and ends in a t.
It comes out of you, and comes out of me.
It's pretty darn smelly, we all agree on that.
Scientific people refer to it as. . .


That's it. What I'm thinking about, (as I'm sure you are too O' Gentle Reader). Scat, followed by an exclamation point, is unique in having the two-fold purpose of being descriptive and scaring angry dogs, used car salesmen, Jehovah Witnesses, and thirsty hobos at 7-11, away.

I like scat-not the smell, of course.

Scat is also remarkable in that, spelled backwards, can be pronounced as taxes.

Most interesting.

27 November 2007

Just because you have a good intention, does not mean you have a good idea

For example:

This afternoon I put some sealant on my camper.


Bad idea this sealing camper alone.

Especially as I was sitting underneath it inside the bed of my truck.

Fortunately, I was able to escape from this self-imposed trap and call somebody to help finish this little project.

26 November 2007


"And what have you been up to lately, Mr. Puddleglum?" I asked myself recently.

"Working 60+ hours a week, you know, being busy."

Work 16 hours-a-day for weeks and you find yourself not even thinking, just reacting. Reacting like an animal on the plains of Africa. Working is part of man's nature, rather, to produce something is man's nature. But if you're just working ridiculous numbers of hours to make money, well, that's not good. When man works many many hours, it is best if he does what he was made to do. A farmer should work farming if that's what he was designed to do. If Farmer John decides to market Amway to rich Chicago socialites because he can make more dinero, he's made a bad decision. I've made a few bad decisions in my life, nothing really terribly bad, . . .still, any bad choice is a bad choice. Spending too many years in college is a bad choice. . .a waste of precious time. Time is valuable, and worth more than money. There is a time and season for all things.

I cooked a turkey on Thanksgiving day and now, much of it's remains are in an enchilada mixture sitting pretty and orange on my stove. I'm not sure why I said that, but felt like it needed saying.

What else? Hmmm. . .West Virginia University should be playing in the NCAA national championship, and they should. I'm not saying that because I went there for 8 years and grew up near Morgantown, nor am I saying that because the head coach went to my high school, and I'm certainly not saying that because my last girlfriend moved to Missouri. I think they really are the best football team in the country.

This week-end I watched a good bit of TV. Watching was a bit of a shock to my system as I've not done the TV watching thing for nearly a decade. I was surprised by the coarseness, language, vulgarity, and poor writing/grammar of the programs. It seemed nearly every show was obsessed with image and sexuality was always present. The camerawork was much better than I remember from the 90s. But the special effects were a bit annoying.

18 November 2007

The big-boned Baptist girl with lots of inner beauty and a thyroid problem

I met her in the doorway of her parent's house. . .the blind date that is. I don't know how many blind dates I've been on, but somebody should give me a seeing-eye dog.

"Hi! This is Betsy. She's what we call special. "

I spent the night under the impression Miss Betsy was from Eastern Europe. A unibrow, larger-than-normal brow ridges, a thick accent, and a constant desire to mutter led me to believe Eastern Romania, perhaps the bad section of Bucharest. Later, she told me she was from New jersey and English was her native tongue. I acted shocked, but acting was never one of my strong points. Betsy didn't seem to notice as she did most of the bragging talking, especially about her new bifocals. Interesting glasses these bifocals. They were made by the same company that developed the Hubble Space telescope. As the night wore on swiftly passed by, it became evident that this wonderful woman had led a remarkable life the past 40? 30? 20 or so years. She had met famous actresses and world leaders, traveled to exotic locations, helped discover the Titanic. . .just fascinating. Only she kept blinking alot and when pressed for details she became fuzzy with a difficulty for remembering exact dates. At midnight, I implored God Almighty mused on whether or not she would turn into a beautiful frog. (I would have said toad, but everybody knows. . .toads are male, frogs-female.) As this would be a step up in the beauty scale. Don't get me wrong, but on a scale from 1-10, Betsy gets the negative square root of 2.

Memo to self: e-mail that Richard Branson's daughter

I should say the night was not a total loss, as it makes a pretty good blog entry.

(OK. So, maybe the above short never actually took place-but it could have.)

Apparently, I'm a junior high blogger

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09 November 2007

Night(s) of the Comet

I was wondering what that really bright thing in the sky was. It wasn't Jupiter.

Demise of de Mad

The following is an un-edited version of how my mind operates when writing at speed on a blog post. It's not grammatically correct, and even makes little sense at times. It also contains incomplete sentences and ideas to insert later.

One of the 1st signs of an over-analytical mind going mad is excessive talking to oneself. They consider themselves (bad grammar-I know) so wise, that nobody else can fathom their wisdom. They ramble on and on, muttering incoherent nonsense, counting mysteriously. I have also observed that they frequently are obsessive-compulsive over mundane tasks, i.e., they like to count things, straighten out cabinets, read CNN.com 20 times a day, or never walk on the black tiles at work. They're frequently jumpy and become nervous twitchers, who can't seem to look you square in the face without blurring their vision or averting their eyes when you look at them.
But talk, they must, for this is man's nature-to communicate (even with one's self.)

Over time, they become less articulate and mumble a lot. They obsess over trivial details and are prone to obsessive-compulsive behavior. . .like repeating the same basic thought, over, and over, and over. Excessive hand-washing comes to mind. It's not unusual to see them work at dull, repetitive tasks, far below their natural abilities, to allow their mind to wander and daydream. Over-eating causes them to concentrate on their body and forsake their spirit man-which is to give up their humanity. Now, they are ruled by their flesh-not unlike an animal.

Later in Life, they become so lost, they cannot think clearly. The flesh is so dominant-all decisions are based on these base desires-all thoughts. . .cannot control the flesh. . .want more and more. . .always more. . .like Gollum.

Always seeking, never finding.
Always hearing, never listening.
Always studying, never learning.
Always thirsty, never drinking.

The cravings of the flesh increase so that NOT knowing Right from Wrong becomes a dominant function, and is replaced by a system of Preferences bases on societal norms.

They become unkempt.

These preferences (says the fallen society) is explained or rationalized as Normal Operating Procedures for a human. Since the majority of the mob thinks and does like this-it must be so. What is now Normal, is the old Abnormal. The Abnormal is now the Normal, and any 'deviants' are considered mean and unrealistic. Gone and forgotten is the true nature of man,the true man, though sometimes stories of the past arise. Perhaps as a myth or a legend with the characters having superhuman-like abilities.

Preferences, as societal norms, can harden into law-like entities, but are by their nature, subject to change. . .elastic and subject to revision-they're elastic. This is one of the signs. For a true law does not change. It is valid for all cultures and for all eras. So, you really can say humans are evolving. Evolving, and it is a fact. I think that one can tell another all the facts, but still be lying.


Giving all the facts of a situation does not necessarily equate with giving a true perception of Reality. And still, some laws can be superseded by other laws. Spiritual laws trump Natural laws, but in a fallen creature, the fallen creature must obey the lesser laws-even if it is against their wills. C.S. Lewis said if one neglects the Law of Prudence while walking on an icy sidewalk, one must obey the Law of Gravitation.

The one thing I always do, no matter how fast I write, is I ALWAYS correct my spelling. I will put a thought on hold and actually go to a dictionary if need be. But that is rare.

07 November 2007

Southern Fried Arsenic

He killed about 60 people.
He went to medical school.
He was on 20/20 with Barbara Walters.
He worked in the very same laboratory as I do.

I'm glad he's in prison now.

06 November 2007


If anybody reading this blog is more tired than I am right now, I do not believe you.

That is all.

Time to rest.

And sleep.