17 March 2014

Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody!

I have no prescriptive aphorisms to guide your parched and weary souls today. Nothing to surround you with butterflies and sunshine...since you've already heard everything that has been said about everything under the sun about a thousand times in the most artsy and poetical way possible.

So I leave you with this...silence.


Yes! Silence is golden. It's also the best response to give those natty Jehovah Witnesses when they come pedaling to your casa and make you say snide things like, "Is your favorite band The Doors?"

16 March 2014


The most intellectual joke ever:

A roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus.
The bartender gives him an odd look and asks, “Are you sure you don’t mean a martini?”

The Roman laughs and says, “if I wanted a double, I would have said so!”

Another roman walks into the bar holding two fingers in the air and shouts, “5 beers please!”


Pittsburgh Marathon training. 49 days and counting. Donated half a pint of blood via blisters. Today was not easy.

04 March 2014

Just Think

Imagine, if you will, a world where the monetary system is based on something more precious than gold and rarer than the rarest heavy metal isotope.

A currency based on...fresh vegetables.

Greedy people would be forced to eat zuchini before it rots, healthiness would become fashionable, and whirled peas would finally be realized.