28 May 2013

I keep having this recurring nightmare that I'm a 91-year-old man walking through Wal-Mart and I look exactly like the Dalai Lama.

Any dream theorists out there?

I should also note I offer quaint tidbits of knowledge concerning trans-fats to young couples and smack people with my staff when they say they're, "looking for a good pair of Sketchers for cardio."

23 May 2013


If you've a friend who believes in unicorns, and he takes you to his horse farm to see all the hornless unicorns, it is best to humor him while visiting. That doesn't mean you should take up the Unicornology and travel to all the latest unicorn trade shows and study the medicinal properties of their magical horns.