28 February 2010


'Roses are reddish.
Violets are bluish.
When the Messiah comes.
You'll wish you were Jewish.'

--Yiddish Proverb with slight modifications

Happy Purim Everybody.

26 February 2010

24 Hours Sans Sueno

The good news is the headache is gone. Of course I'm on a lot of caffeine and aspirin to go with a most sunny sky.

I bought some sweetened condensed milk yesterday thinking it was like regular milk. It's not. I needed a spoon to get it out of the can. I don't know how they make milk like that-it doesn't come out of a cow that way. It looks like somebody just milked a sperm whale. Since I was there-there being Wal-Mart...the Super Center kind-I figured to get me some lunch. I got a pre-made submarine and some pepper. I needed the pepper to flavor the sandwich-that and I needed the pepper anyway. The pepper label had a warning saying it may contain traces of soy, milk, paprika, sodium benzoate and essence of Charn. The sodium benzoate I've heard of. We use it at work to calibrate bomb calorimeters. Very explosive stuff, but it burns steady. In the eight years I spent at college studying chemistry , never once did I hear of Charn. The only Charn I ever heard of was the mythical world that Jadis the White Witch came from. Charn didn't kill me-just made me sneeze alot. I also noticed the submarine sandwich's expiration date read 'sell by 4:21 A.M. on 24 Feb 2010.' My receipt read 'purchased at 5:37 A.M. 24 Feb 2010.' Great. So now I'm living on borrowed time thinking, "I have to eat this thing asap." If it were a Hardee's Mushroom Melt this wouldn't be a problem, but this was roast beast...and could practically feel the fungal spores ready to germinate. Horseradish sauce, you should know, has anti-microbial properties. Naturally I lathered up the beast with the stuff. I think it worked although my nose was runny for the next 37 hours. Another thing I noticed-at 5:37 A.M. when a guy walks in wearing dark green khaki (my work clothes), black gloves, boots, and a black pea coat and heads straight to the pharmacy section for energy drinks and casually puts a copy of 'The Catcher in the Rye' into his shopping cart-the store cops take notice and stare at you all funny-like. They probably thought I had issues in life.

16 February 2010

Year of the Tiger: Day 2

Ever get the feeling that Life as we know know it is really a type of virtual reality in relation to a more real existence called real life?

I think this is a pretty good explanation of reality as it explains a lot of things that make no logical sense. Hormones and drugs (the same things really) make people do irrational things, but these are generally expected when partakes of strange substances. This also explains why women, being more intuitive and complex than men, are more in tune with something generically called Spirituality. Their virtual reality machinery is more fine-tuned to pick-up the subtle nuances, the quantum state changes in matter, that make-up the universe.

Does this sound New-Agey? Probably. But if one looks at the history of humanity, one cannot help but notice that everything seems to unfold like a well-written book composed by a super-intellect.

13 February 2010

14 February 2010

The Year of the Tiger begins tomorrow.

Should be interesting.

Check out this great MSN Video: Year of The Tiger

I ♥ Global Warming

Hawai'i is the lone holdout-so far.

(Yes, Hawai'i IS spelled correctly.)

49/50 states currently have snow on the ground. Meteorologist aren't sure if this has ever happened since the last ice age. The AP says (I'm paraphrasing) this is merely an outlier and a unique weather event. Overall, the climate is still experiencing a human-induced warming trend and the chance of another Snowmageddon is extremely rare. I'm not sure I believe most meteorologists as one the the underlying assumptions they make concerning the Earth's current climate is a belief in Uniforitarianism-which states that climate tends to stay relatively constant over millions of years. Yet anyone with common sense and a tiny knowledge of geology knows this is clearly not the case.

Perhaps we should blame the gods and make the Goracle repent for preaching the inconvenient truth.