30 April 2007

Time flies. I can't, they're too fast

Some thoughts I jotted down while waiting to clock out.

If one believes that thinking is what the brain does. One is wrong. Brains do not think. Brains process electrical signals and are the material medium most closely associated with the soul. It is correct to say the soul thinks. In college biology classes, one is taught according to Darwinism. According to Darwiniam, there is no such thing as a soul. . .so, thoughts must be the result of how the brain reacts to the environment. Or, perhaps thoughts are an emergent property of the brain-sort of like. . .what? This makes no sense to me. It's like saying that 'War and Peace' is an emergent property of the ink and paper its printed on. If matter, all that we can see, touch, and feel is all that there ever was and ever will be, as Carl Sagan said, then such abstract principles like bravery, paradigms, theorems, and numbers do not exist, nor could they exist in such a reality. Yet, it seems to me that there is good evidence that numbers, theories, and worldviews exist. Now, it also seems to me that if the worldview called Darwinism doesn't allow for the existence of worldviews, then Darwinism is not quite the best explanation for reality. Yes, there is evidence for Darwinism. There's also evidence for a flat earth. . .ever been to Kansas?

Every effect in the universe must have a cause. So, if one extrapolates to the first instant of the universe's beginning-what was the cause? More importantly, Who caused it? One may think that the universe is cyclical, that everything happens over and over again like a cosmic Groundhog Day. Yet, it must have had an initial starting point. Besides, this is really not answering the question-just putting off the initial Cause a few billion years.

If our laws are not based on a moral principle that remains unchanged throughout history. . .I'm thinking about the U.S. Constitution right now. . .and original intent. . .and is instead based on a subjective agreement derived from societal norms and customs as most colleges teach, and Slate magazine too, then if one follows the logical endpoint of this worldview, one cannot say that 911 was a bad event, terrorists cannot be evil, and what Hitler did was just his preference.

If these same people who don't believe in an objective right and wrong, just preferences, like a preference for an 'alternate lifestyle,' should they be running this country and put in positions of leadership? I think it would be better to have leaders with a better view of reality.

When most Americans define 'freedom,' they say it is the right to do what you want to do-even if it is wrong and doesn't hurt anybody else. This belief is a little ridiculous. If what you do is wrong, then it does hurt everybody else. . .quite literally. Society is just a tiny bit worse off due to your wrong-doing. Everything is not quite as good as it could be. 'Freedom' is the ability to do right without fear of punishment. It's one of the reasons why we came from England.

28 April 2007

A sad state of affairs

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one
suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to
suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to
suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love,
or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness — I hope you're getting
this down.

--Woody Allen, Love and Death (1975)

In 1995, 43 million prescriptions for antidepressants were written in the U.S. In 2004, the number written was 145 million.

Depressing isn't it?

There are now 300 million people in the U.S. Half of them depressed, the other half are, we can assume, happy or suffering, but not on antidepressants.

This is not including all the aliens living here that must be happy, or happier, than the 3rd world country run by the nicely tanned dictator who enforced a one sheet per day maximum they came from.

I don’t consider myself depressed. . .melancholy perhaps. There are days when I crawl into a dark corner, curl up in the fetal position, and curse war, famine, pestilence, and that other jockey fellow.

Part of the reason is death. Humans, with a few exceptions (Enoch, Elijah, Dick Clark) are mortal, know it, and hence strive for immortality. So, we get sad. I want to achieve immortality myself, although I want to do this by not dying.

Animals don’t get sad because they aren’t aware of impending death. They can’t think abstract subjective thoughts. Perhaps antidepressants, like watching TV, relieve the suffering mind from considering it’s impending doom.

It’s something to think about on your way to the pharmacy.

24 April 2007

Sid Roth

Sid Roth is coming to our church this Sunday morning at 9 AM.

He's a very good speaker and a messianic Jew. Should be interesting.

Madam, Can you spare a square?

It's true.

Sheryl Crow suggests that people use 1 sheet of toilet paper per man per day (or trip).

Does anybody else find this disturbing?

What is truly amazing is the fact that Ms. Crow and lance Armstrong used to be an item. Lance, as you know, is the 7-time winner of the Tour de France bicycle race. Pro cyclists in the Tour eat about 10,000 calories of food/day during the 3-week race.

10,000 calories a day is alot of coarse particulate organic matter, and 1, or 2, or even 3 sheets of the best aloe scented French papier simply won't cut it. . .not even the industrial grade 3-ply that Alaskan fishermen and Siberian lumberjacks use.

You eat 10,000 calories/day and you're gonna need a trowel and a garden hose. Granted, there are those times when one makes, I think the euphemism is, a clean-get-away, and one sheet will do. But still, you'll need another sheet. . .you know. . .the just because sheet.

She also proposes something called a 'dining sleeve.' A detachable sleeve used to wipe your mouth at restaurants. Somehow I don't think this idea will catch on. We have a name for such people. They're called Slobs.

23 April 2007


Some interesting statistics I found over the week-end.

18% of all the Nobel prizes ever awarded were given to Jews. And yet, Jewish people comprise only 0.2% of the earth's population.

19 April 2007


Virginia is a rather subdued state right now. So, I've decided to post a link to the Norfolk eagle cam.

About 20 minutes down the road, two bald eagles have a very very large nest (800 lbs I think) and three baby eagles. The eaglets seem to eat non-stop. Not sure what it is they are eating, but it's probably fish from Chesapeake Bay.

Eagle Cam

14 April 2007

Village of the Apes

Once there was a planet
Full of man-like apes
Who had the curious idea
Of turning Likes into Hates
According to a primate study in the mid-1900s, by one Sir Alfred, approximately 6% of all apes have worm-loving palates. Some scientists have placed doubt in the credibility of this experiment as all the test patients were rejects from an un-named primate research center, but the study might have some relevance to reality.
"We think all apes should eat worms, not bananas! Bananas are for men!" said Lewdspeaker from the treetops. "For centuries, our ancestors have eaten bananas, bananas, and nothing but bananas. And why?"
All the apes nodded in agreement. Not because they agreed with the logic of Lewdspeaker, but because of the Commonly Reasoned Aped Principle (CRAP) that caused all apes to think alike. Indeed it was quite impossible to do otherwise.
"Because of a society dominated by alpha-males!"
At Lewdspeaker's side sat Drone, respected lawyer for Convinced Apes Luv Urthworms (CALU), nodding encouragement.
"We can't help but eat worms! We were born this way! It's our rite!"
The apes nodded in unison.
"Alph-male lies! Soon, they'll want us to act like men. Furthermore, If we want to eat worms, who is to say we can't. We have free speech!"
More nodding in unison.
On a neighboring hillside
"What's her problem?" asked an old chimpanzee.
"She's lost her bananas," said the other chimp.
"Well, I'll be a monkey's knuckle. What was she saying last week?"
"She wanted to become an alpha-female. . ."
"Surely you jest."
"On second thought," said the first ape. "I'd say she's slightly mannish depressive and suffering delusions of gender."
"Could be, my friend, could be. . ."

More Rabbits and Men. . .continued from a previous post

Life in the garden was good. Nin and Sally grew big and healthy, the carrots made their fur soft, and the fence, guarded by the servants, gave them protection from elil.

One day, an elil, a fox, tunneled it's way under the fence and emerged in the turnip row. Sally, who had never actually seen an elil, and wasn't exactly certain what one looked like, was curious. She hopped over to the creature and admired his soft red fur, bushy tail, and small pointy ears.

"He doesn't look dangerous," she thought.

The fox convinced Sally to try the grapes.

Although rabbits have a natural repugnance toward soft food, the elil persuaded her to taste them anyway. The softness was unlike anything she'd ever eaten before-unlike the hard carrots and grasses she usually ate, and tasted like sweet-n-slugs.

Now, rabbits must chew hard food to wear down their teeth as they never stop growing. Nevertheless, the grapes fermented in her stomach and caused Sally great distress. Her metabolic system grew addicted to grapes, and she craved them.

In time, she lost all her wits and convinced Nin to try them too. The diet of grapes (and only grapes) turned their teeth into fangs (Lagomorphism.)

Farmer John recognized their lagomorphic character, and despite what Nin and Sally said, he had no choice but to banish the two rabbits from the garden lest they kill themselves.

As punishment, the rabbits would have to raid gardens at their peril. And to the fox he said,

"Cursed be you above all elil. From this day forward, rabbits will be a delicacy for you, but I will so increase their speed and agility that only by the sweat of your brow will you catch the delight of your tongue!"

And that is why foxes are the chief enemies of rabbits.

12 April 2007


A few of the interesting things I've seen lately while running around the lake.

-The first snake of the year. . .today
-snapping turtles
-a very large cat with a beard fishing in a stream
-a heron gulping down fish
-Laverne and Shirley
-two senior citizens throwing rocks at some unfortunate creature in the lake
-an unknown creature in the lake that was unfortunate
-two teenage girls dressed like medieval princesses
-one minature dog impersonating a zebra

Volcano Baby

(I think the video needs no explanation)

Of Rabbits and Men

If people are rabbits, then God is like Farmer John, and angels are like his servants. Demons are, well, like former employees who got fired for negligence and now have have some kind of vendetta against the rabbits. . .cause they're not doing much against the current employees.

To the rabbits, Farmer John's ways are mysterious. He has strange powers and laws, yet has the best interest of the little furry folk in mind.

One day, Farmer John planted a garden with lettuce, radishes, turnips, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, green beans, and corn. He told the two occupants, Nimrophel and Seladorn (Nin and Sally in the vernacular) to take care of the garden-make sure all the insects were crushed and keep all the other animals out. This wasn't hard as a large fence surrounded the garden and the farm workers shot any wild creatures, or elil in rabbit-speech (a noble tongue long since forgotten.)

In the center of the garden, John planted a grape vine and told the 2 rabbits to never eat the grapes because they were for his servants. As the garden was the only place with the proper soil, he hadn't much choice in the matter. Besides, if his former employees got hold of the grapes, it would be only a matter of time before they'd be producing a hybrid variety that was somewhat poisonous and bitter-tasting.

John came out at times to talk with Nin and Sally about herbs and their ways, care of paws, and other rabbit things. He also had the strange custom of patting their furry little heads. Neither Nin, nor Sally could make heads or tails of this strange behavior and discussed it to no end. In fact, one of their descendants wrote a book about head patting and made a religion about it called Pattingheadism, since he thought it caused him enlightenment.

06 April 2007

6 April 2007

Also known as Good Friday.

Twas the Friday before Easter
And all through the lab
Not a creature was stirring
Except Jason the lad

He was stirring some coffee
A new Brazilian brew
That was blacker than black
And thicker than stew

All the buzzers were buzzing
The timers were too
The machines were running splendid
(As far as he knew)

But something was amiss
The coffee tasted like steam
Alas! The machines were all broken
It had all been a dream

It's official. I'm bored.

05 April 2007

some thoughts

According to mapquest, it is impossible to go from here to there. I tried.

Random thoughts: Let's pray Dick Cheney stays healthy. Nancy Pelosi is next in the batter's box should the first two strike out.

I saw a dead cat that didn't use all it's 9 lives. This too is meaningless. A cat chaing the wind. The book of Proverbs says a beautiful woman who shows no discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout. I like Solomon. Think about Solomon. Solo mon (spoken in Jamaican-nasal-speak). If there is anything he was, it certainly wasn't solo. God gave Solomon great wisdom. He was a genius. And like most geniuses, went crazy. Crazy with the women, crazy with the building projects, crazy with Life. And still, his wisdom never left him. Solomon had no prophet to be accountable to, says Ravi Zacharias.

If a tree falls down in a forest. Yes, it does make a sound. My sister needs a husband. She eats all my food and I'm paying all the bills. Why are they called bills anyways? Why not Toms are Salleys?

04 April 2007

I am ClodsleyShovel

I joined some funky instant messenger-like site today called twitter. I am ClodsleyShovel.

I've noticed that most of my journel entries begin with "I." I this, I that. Today, I. I. . .I. . .I.
me. . .me. . .me. It's craziness, like I'm the only one on the planet. And who do people keep journals for? Why their distant ancestors, of course. 300 hundred years from now, one of my descendants will be reading my journals (men write journals, women write diaries) and wonder what I'm talking about half the time. (People used to drive CARS?) Of course, by then the English language will have evolved into something like a series of never-ending acronyms.

Y? :) . . . LOL O.IC.

It will be something like hieroglyphics in Times New Roman font. Many people are shaving their heads, getting tattoos, and turning into little pagans. Global warming might be happening. The rainforests are disappearing and turning into sand dunes. Yep, We're going back to Egypt, boys.

Back back back to Egypt
back back back
Back back back to Egypt
all the way back

We'll place our sacks on camels backs
And watch these guys make some tracks

We'll cross the Nile in single file
And give ol' Pharaoh our broadest smile. . .

Back back back to Egypt. . .

Actually, I think I will be here on planet Earth 300 years from now. If you are a Christian, this last sentence will be understandable to you. If not, then perhaps you might want to consider Christianity. Most people think it is a religion, and in some respects they're right, but that's not an accurate picture of reality. It's like calling a computer a plastic box.

The fact that miracles exist really disturbs some people. By miracles, I'm not talking about something like. . .the 'miracle' of the internal combustion engine. Or the 'miracle' of the internet. I'm talking about somebody who doesn't have an arm, suddenly growing one. I've never seen this happen, but according to Christianity, it can happen. Miracles, by their very nature, are not repeatable testable phenomena, like measuring pH. They supersede the Laws of Nature. I was going to say 'break the Laws of Nature' but that would be inaccurate. Miracles supersede the Natural Laws in the same way Quantum physics supersedes Newtonian physics. Measuring balls drop, calculating projectile motion is fine and good for everyday stuff, but when you're moving at superfast speeds, like 10% the speed of light, or studying stuff on the quantum level, Newtonian physics isn't as accurate as Q physics. Miracles are in another reference frame of reality completely.

02 April 2007

2 April 2007 Anno Domini

It's Monday again and Jason has a headache, so his alter-ego is posting for him. His alter-ego has the same name as Jason, so this could be rather confusing. Jason always has a headache for aproximately half a day on Mondays. This is because he wakes up at 7AM on Sundays, runs a TV camera for 3-4 hours, then works for another 8-9 hours in a chemistry lab where his brain is subjected to coal dust, sulfuric and nitric acid fumes, and the stench of burning sulfur. . .which is why his clothes smell like hell. . .and no, that's not frivolous cursing. . .they actual do smell like gehenna. . .burnt sulfur and all that. This is on top of converting his body from a nocturnal creature to a day creature and back to a nocturnal creature. Like Jason experiences something like jet-lag every week.

Spring in Virginia means Flounder prices drop to purchasable levels and yellow-dusty cars. My car now resembles a blue dolphin sprinkled with curry powder. Spring also means the arrival of more baby rabbits hiding in the shrubbery. Before sunrise, they come out to play, chew grass, and stare at people until the fox comes. You wouldn't think there would be foxes in the city, but there are. They hang out by car tires and watch the little rabbits. . .just like gang members. Other times, you'll see foxes troop across the mall parking lot (down the street) on business of their own. At 5 AM, the foxes cease patrolling the neighborhood because of the birds. Chirping birds are the alarm for foxes to clock out for the night. The birds wake up and clean the worms off the sidewalks till noon or so. Then it is the squirrels turn. I'm not exactly sure what it is the squirrels do, but it requires a lot of scampering to and fro.