08 October 2013


People are crazy. I like people…I really do…but they’re still crazy. Some people live like Beelzebub is their spouse yet every other Facebook post is a bible verse. Crazy people will tell you they read the bible everyday yet haven’t read it in 15 years. What is really crazy is when you call them on it. Crazy people, see, couldn’t find the book of Zedekiah if they had to. Now that’s crazy.

Women are crazy. To be fair, men are also crazy but in a different sort of way. Men’s craziness is predictable and can be plotted on a graph. Women’s craziness is like abstract art, you see it in action but can’t explain it unless you have a Ph.D in English from Oxford…even then you still need a working knowledge of tensor calculus. Craziness in general has a long history that began on a fruit farm. I won’t go into the details but fruitiness and craziness ever since that sad day in the garden have had an uneasy alliance that continues to this day. The cure for craziness is marriage. The hope being the female craziness and the male craziness cancel one another out so something like normalcy sets in. And for those who never marry? Well…there’s always the convent, or the monastery, or the U.S. Congress where one can go and live happily forever after.  

A crazy experiment: If you want to be really spiritual try this experiment. Make a list of the top ten people you dislike. Some of you may say, “But I love EVERYBODY Jason.” True. But loving someone does not mean you want them coming to your yard sale. You may want them to live a long life and go to heaven and be with God and Jesus…and at the same time secretly hope they live in a corrugated apartment in Laos until they pass away. These ten should be people you personally know. Don’t put Kim Jong-un or Hillary Clinton on your list. Use the guy who ran over your cat or the girl you gave a $500 necklace to and now won’t return your phone calls ß-(note: this is a scenario…not an actual event. I have yet to give a girl a $500 necklace…someday…) Then, pray for each and every one on the list without cringing or using expletives. I don’t think God is happy when we curse during prayer. Anyways, after a time, perhaps a long time, you will start to feel something like compassion for these people. This is good practice.

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