10 March 2010

The Clam Boycott.

Early this morning my gastro-esophageal sphincter muscle friends abandoned me. Since then, I have been talking to Jesus and apologizing for the false offerings of clam chowder to the Gizzard God. Neptune, you should know, is responsible for this. He is to blame. The Great White Throne judgement I'm told will not be something you want to see. I know this from more than anecdotal experience and shall now enter into a lifelong boycott of clams, oysters, mussels, and other barnacle-like entities.

4 comments:

kludge said...

Sweet mercy! I hate mornings like that. Feeling a bit clammy today?

Ugh!

Jason Michael Parrish said...

I feel like 10 pounds of sea lion dung in a 5 pound bag.

kludge said...

Wow, that is quite an picture. Hoping this PASSES quickly for you. I would also guess clams are off the menu for a spell.

Jason Michael Parrish said...

Yes-all walrus chow is officially off the menu.