04 May 2010

The Game of Life

It came in a flash of insight. A revelation. A paradigmatic shift of consciousness. This time without the mushrooms.

Where there's a will, there's a way.
Where there's a way, there's a door.
Where there's a door, there's a knob.
Where there's a knob, there's a key.
Where there's a key, it'll probably get lost.
If it gets lost, it can be found by a good metal detector...

(This was a rather long epiphany and can be read in it's entirety in a future post)

I'll not bore you with the details but the end of the revelation was the answer to the Meaning of Life. More specifically, the meaning to Life-as-we-now-know-it. Not the next-life-as-some-of-us-will-know-it and certainly not life-in-any-previous-sort-of-existence.

The Meaning of Life is that life is essentially a game. A virtual reality game in which all the world's a stage and we're all the players. There's a small percentage of people that are actually stage props, but as they all now work for an un-named government agency we can disregard them for the time being.

Life, see, isn't really real. At least real as we usually think of the term real. It's virtual. The plan is for us to learn how to maneuver through all the different levels until time runs out or our energy levels deplete. In some cases, people really mess up and get removed from the system, but this is rare.

This virtual existence also explains spoon bending, the Bermuda Triangle, the rash of vanishing hitch-hikers on the West Coast, the occasional kidney heist, those hooks you sometimes see hanging on the doorway of your girlfriends house, UFOs, straight A's after your college roommate takes an extended vacation, and the Laws of Economics.

The secret is-we are not alone in the universe. Michael Jackson was right...you are not alone. Our actual bodies are hanging in some sort of hibernaculum/cocoon-like thing with tubes, wires, sensors, and probes all monitoring our every move.

Some of our more enlightened muses have even hinted around to our larval lives.

"Every breath you take and every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take, I'll be watching you
Every single day and every word you say
Every game you play"

--lyrics by Sting, boldness by me

Those beings you call angels are actually the hyper-somatic lab techs keeping us in the system. Some of the bad ones with plans of their own...the demons...keep trying to do their hack jobs. Occasionally, when things get slow, the angels will put on the VR gear and come into our sphere to do a little work...nudge us along...iron out the kinks...then step behind a tree and vanish.

Does this mean all those vanishing hitch-hikers in Los Angeles are angels?


Does this mean all those hobos living under your neighborhood bridge are angels?


Most of these are actual virtual real-life hobos...the ones you can smell. If they smell good, they might be hyper-somatic beings, people writing a book, or U.S. census workers trying to fit in. The rule of thumb is...if they smell like h.e. double l...they're not from heaven.

No comments: