23 May 2006

Man Things

What is it about metal that draws men like a moth to flame? I know we came from the dust of the earth so maybe something down there attracts us...like magnetism. It's the siren call of the iron oxides. Do women know this? When I look at a rock, I don't see just a rock. I see something to be heated to extract the metallic elements. I see molten steel. I picture myself in leather boots with toe protectors, leather gloves, a dark grey Darth Vader-like mask, and a black apron skimming the dross off a tub of molten aluminum heated to 2,000 F, in a large factory with concrete floors while an older fellow with white hair and mustache called Jim watches me from a distance. Oh yeah, and he's wearing plaid. In my quest to become a man of steel, I purchased two more weights some time ago at this new sports store. I sauntered in wearing jeans, leather jacket, unshaved, and paid cash. Introduced them to Lady Guinevere (my car), grunted like King Kong and scratched myself...(no, actually I didn't do that). Manly things you know. Unfortunately, they're not the right size for my benchpress bar which means another trip back to the Man Shack to buy more iron to satisfy my male ego-driven desires.

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