23 June 2007

A wonderful day in the neighborhood

For Sale or Trade: One evil. . .very evil. . .vile. Possibly even possessed. . .combination washer/dryer.

Will consider all offers. Or quite possibly will trade for some dry towels, an industrial-sized mop and bucket, and. . .a flame-thrower. Yes, why not.

Or one young beautiful wife with a W/D of her very own that knows how to cook mashed potatoes and gravy with the right amount of pepper. . .and some Pepto-Bismol (just in case). And if she has a mop and bucket of her very own. . .well by all means. . .give me a call.

Am also looking for an apartment-sized trash compactor that will compact. . .um. . .Whirlpool Combination W/D.

And, what else.

And if anybody knows somebody willing to part with a CostCo-sized bottle of aspirin, I am open to talk.

(Maybe I should post this on Craigslist instead of here. Somebody might think I'm. . .a little crazy. And. . .that person would be right)

Current Mood: Frustrated

Currently Reading: the instruction manual for a brand new 5 gallon (quiet series) shop-vac

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