04 April 2007

I am ClodsleyShovel

I joined some funky instant messenger-like site today called twitter. I am ClodsleyShovel.

I've noticed that most of my journel entries begin with "I." I this, I that. Today, I. I. . .I. . .I.
me. . .me. . .me. It's craziness, like I'm the only one on the planet. And who do people keep journals for? Why their distant ancestors, of course. 300 hundred years from now, one of my descendants will be reading my journals (men write journals, women write diaries) and wonder what I'm talking about half the time. (People used to drive CARS?) Of course, by then the English language will have evolved into something like a series of never-ending acronyms.

Y? :) . . . LOL O.IC.

It will be something like hieroglyphics in Times New Roman font. Many people are shaving their heads, getting tattoos, and turning into little pagans. Global warming might be happening. The rainforests are disappearing and turning into sand dunes. Yep, We're going back to Egypt, boys.

Back back back to Egypt
back back back
Back back back to Egypt
all the way back

We'll place our sacks on camels backs
And watch these guys make some tracks

We'll cross the Nile in single file
And give ol' Pharaoh our broadest smile. . .

Back back back to Egypt. . .

Actually, I think I will be here on planet Earth 300 years from now. If you are a Christian, this last sentence will be understandable to you. If not, then perhaps you might want to consider Christianity. Most people think it is a religion, and in some respects they're right, but that's not an accurate picture of reality. It's like calling a computer a plastic box.

The fact that miracles exist really disturbs some people. By miracles, I'm not talking about something like. . .the 'miracle' of the internal combustion engine. Or the 'miracle' of the internet. I'm talking about somebody who doesn't have an arm, suddenly growing one. I've never seen this happen, but according to Christianity, it can happen. Miracles, by their very nature, are not repeatable testable phenomena, like measuring pH. They supersede the Laws of Nature. I was going to say 'break the Laws of Nature' but that would be inaccurate. Miracles supersede the Natural Laws in the same way Quantum physics supersedes Newtonian physics. Measuring balls drop, calculating projectile motion is fine and good for everyday stuff, but when you're moving at superfast speeds, like 10% the speed of light, or studying stuff on the quantum level, Newtonian physics isn't as accurate as Q physics. Miracles are in another reference frame of reality completely.


kludge said...


That was very well put, I can't say I've ever thought of it in that respect before.

That Egypt bit is great too! Nice job Clodsleyshovel!

David said...

West Virginia (or West Virgina according to our NIT champion T- shirts) neither understands or accepts your position on Egypt.
We do accept miracles, however these are usually easier to absorb in cases where Junior has a lucky bounce off the trampoline instead of when Junior grows his arm back that he lost hanging in out the Schoo' bus.

Jason said...


What do you think then of somebody walking on water? This directly violates the bouyant force.

Dave said...

I agree that walking on water would defintely count as a miracle.
Unless a person were "hollow" or had really big feet the force of the person by gravity would normally supercede the bouyant force puching up from beneath.

Unless, of course it is Darlene Lester walking on water. Then, I would just say that the water is too scared to let her in and is using all possible buoyant forces for the entire surface-water area (above ground pool most likely) to keep her out!

Jason said...

You realize, of course, that if the said Darlene discovers your comment, your life expectancy will diminish a hundredfold.

Dave said...

Your missing a critical piece of evidence:
Last spring (May of 2006), said Lester injured her ankle while attempting to tickle JD or maybe maneuver around her complicated work area or possibly even moving around a gun rack at home.

This injured ankle forced the immediate stoppage of all athletic activity for her(every super hero has an interesting story on how they were born).

This, unfortunately for us, but fortunate for the entire fast food industry and Hostess Company, has created the "Super Darlene". Able to kill with a furrowed brow at 10 feet, and pommel unsuspecting criminals from at least 15 away, Super "D" has added at least an additional 100 pounds (maybe 5 pounds of muscle).

The only thing that keeps me from being eaten daily is my agility and acceleration.

Jason said...

It seems a trip to Shady Springs is in order.

I should like to see this fair site.