24 April 2007

Madam, Can you spare a square?

It's true.

Sheryl Crow suggests that people use 1 sheet of toilet paper per man per day (or trip).

Does anybody else find this disturbing?

What is truly amazing is the fact that Ms. Crow and lance Armstrong used to be an item. Lance, as you know, is the 7-time winner of the Tour de France bicycle race. Pro cyclists in the Tour eat about 10,000 calories of food/day during the 3-week race.

10,000 calories a day is alot of coarse particulate organic matter, and 1, or 2, or even 3 sheets of the best aloe scented French papier simply won't cut it. . .not even the industrial grade 3-ply that Alaskan fishermen and Siberian lumberjacks use.

You eat 10,000 calories/day and you're gonna need a trowel and a garden hose. Granted, there are those times when one makes, I think the euphemism is, a clean-get-away, and one sheet will do. But still, you'll need another sheet. . .you know. . .the just because sheet.

She also proposes something called a 'dining sleeve.' A detachable sleeve used to wipe your mouth at restaurants. Somehow I don't think this idea will catch on. We have a name for such people. They're called Slobs.

1 comment:

kludge said...

Okay this post was like a "book of scabs" I was both horrified and simultaneously found that I couldn't turn away and stop reading...

...I never look at a trowel and a garden hose the same way again...

and yes, in the end(excuse the pun), I agree.