10 January 2008


There are 3 things that amaze me, 4 I cannot understand.

People who use food stamps to buy Twinkies and beer at 7-11, Life during the Ice Age without good coffee, the reasons for voting for Hillary Clinton, and why people play the lottery.

'Playing the Lottery' is basically a tax on people who are bad at maths. Much as lung cancer is a tax on smokers. I've never smoked a day in my life. Almost got sent to a juvenile detention center for (accidentally) starting a forest fire, but never have I smoked.

I asked God for more time in my Life. What I really meant was asking for less distractions since the only way to have more time is to accelerate my biological body to the speed of light. Cause' everybody knows time slows down as one approaches c. . .right? I need more time to do what I was designed to do on this planet which is dinosaur cloning, novel-writing, and discovering why women are get so emotional around spiders and weddings. People need less distractions in Life. I imagine if Leonardo da Vinci wasn't forced by the Pope to do what he did under penalty of something like death, St. Peter's Basilica would be an unobtrusive brick building looking like it was designed by Volvo and the Sistine Chapel would resemble the Sunday comics.

So just remember,

I'm pulling for ya, we're all in this together, and if women don't find ya handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Till tomorrow,

and keep your stick on the ice.

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