21 April 2009

I Do

I, Jason, solemnly swear to never eat okra, corn, diced tomatoes, saffron rice, and cheap imported hot sauce ever again in my lifetime. So help me Pepto.

This is one reason why it is not good for man to be alone in the kitchen. Men by nature are curious and enjoy mixing things together that shouldn't be mixed together. Even if the things eventually get mixed in the stomach. Adam, see, originally had a gizzard (in addition to a stomach) so this wasn't much of a problem. The problem began when he got off work early from his taxonomy job and took a nap. God, being curious himself, took out the gizzard and made a fe-male, which is kind of like a regular male but they don't have gizzards. Actually, after this period of time neither had gizzards and so equality was achieved, but that's beside the point. The point is, the fe-male being a bit more refined, knew that eating cacti, or whatever okra is, isn't best for human consumption and apples, oranges, and those fancy salads women always persuade you to get at the Olive Garden are where its at. Unfortunately, one day she ate the wrong apple and. . .this is all theory. . .started the downfall of the human race.

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