24 April 2009

Slow News Month


My cupboard.
Yes, it has a can of sliced octopus tentacles. People say I need to eat more fish, hence the tuna and mackeral.
The pizza sauce is for emergencies.
I have never eaten octopus tentacles before but people say they're like fish-flavored gum. We'll see. I'll try one and report. If nothing significant happens like them tasting like chicken, I will take them to work and feed them to an un-named co-worker I'll call Mikey.
Mikey eats anything. When Mikey is hungry he still eats anything. Yesterday Mikey told me he was pregnant. Mikey is a male and confused about life at times. His roomies are trying to get him fat by feeding him donuts, chocolate, and avocados. Mikey thinks avocados are healthy and nutritious. Mikey doesn't know avocados are loaded with calories. Yesterday, Mikey weighed 198.5 lbs. His roomies told me their goal was 250 lbs.
Stay tuned for more Mikey updates.

2 comments:

kludge said...

Octopus is all texture and very little taste. They are great for showing off to culinary squeamish friends. We had can in our pantry that went rancid before we could eat it.

I've never smelled anything that bad in my house before. Eat them sooner rather than later.

Jason Michael Parrish said...

I think I'll give it to my parents. They live in the mountains, far from any oceans, and would appreciate it.