12 June 2008


Sometimes, when eating large quantities of sausage, fried eggs, greasy bread, and coffee. . .whilst simultaneously eating large quantities of acetaminophen, aspirin, and ibuprofen because one must eat even if suffering from a migraine. . .it pays to move very slowly so as to give everything ample opportunity to dissolve into their constituent parts and exit the stomach into the intestines. Lest the stomach become confused and angry and tries to force it's occupants up the esophagus. . .which is most certainly not the opening you want these substances to exit. Because if this happens, your day will be ruined, even if you have lots of mouthwash. A car accident is not the only way to get whiplash you know.

The trick is knowing your body well enough to not allow alternative whiplash. One of the hints is when copious amounts of saliva and other acidic substances appear in the mouth. Just take everything nice, and slow, and eaaaaasssyyy. . .make no sudden jerks. . .and most definitely do not lay flat on your back since everybody knows fluids always rise to the lowest levels.

The Wiggle has spoken.

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