19 August 2008

Banana Trees, Cat Herding, and Squirrel Carrots

I had the opportunity to watch a 4-year-old boy and came to the following conclusions.

Little boys should not be raised in the city unless you have a very large fence with no rocks, sticks, stacks of old 2-by-4s embedded with nails, or neighbors with motorcycles. Montana or Saskatchewan is best as these areas are so flat and remote you can watch the little guys run around and beat one another with hot dog sticks, chase baby rabbits, torture senile poodles, and dig holes in the ground because (they want to see what the devil looks like) until their hearts content. And if one of them decides to plant a banana tree (don't ask) in your back yard, you don't have to explain to the neighbors why.

Little boys ask many questions, so when responding, it is usually best to tell the truth. I told him I was a cat herder and rode around on a chariot chasing them all day. Naturally this raised many more questions, none of which I could possibly answer.

Little boys like to eat all the time. This morning I took some carrots outside to feed the squirrels. . .they actually like carrots. . .and the little fella told me he'd eat them for me.

"These are squirrel carrots," I said. . .thinking that no further explanation was needed, but alas, this was not to be.

1 comment:

kludge said...

From experience, little girls are similar, just not as physical.

"I told him I was a cat herder and rode around on a chariot chasing them all day. "
this was a thing of beauty!