05 May 2007

El cinq de Mai

Because El Cinco de Mayo sounds like a sandwich. . .in case ya wanna know

More moving news: After reading a ridiculous number of Washington blogs, probably more than the FBI, I have a picture of your average Washingtonian.

-Everybody works for Boeing, Microsoft, or in the lumber industry.
-Like the English, (btw, Queen Elizabeth II came over the other day) everybody reads books and writes.
-Pacific Northwesterners are mellow. It's like they're all secretly desiring to be wildlife biologists.
-Everybody has pale skin and needs Vitamin D supplements due to the lack of sunshine.

Nobody on the East coast ever mentions Washington in casual conversation. Makes one wonder what they're doing way up there in their corner of the continent. Being quiet, never saying anything, pretending to be Canadians, drinking coffee, wearing parkas.

It's like Maine-without the moose. Maine. . .cold, stark, severe, barren. . .Maine. Might as well say you're from Iceland.

We know orcas live in Washington. We see them on Animal Planet eating seals. Washington orcas are dangerous. Much more so than Shamu and co.

What with the orcas in the ocean and Bigfoot on the land, what do Washingtonians do? I think they go salmon fishing on the Columbia River. Cause everyone knows gorillas won't cross a river and rivers are too shallow for orcas.

Growing up, I thought WA kids very brave living with Bigfoot prowling and lurking. I got a little concerned after reading a book about the creature, sat down, and calculated the minimum amount of time it would take me to run to the bus stop should hirsute Harry let chase from the woods behind my house.

I figured 10 seconds to spare under ideal conditions.

Note: The red squiggly line would have been the most logical path for the beast to travel. And yes, I do have alot of free time.


kludge said...

Wow... You certainly put some thought into it! Well... Luck favors the prepared I suppose.

Jason said...

Well, Bigfoot. . .or Bigfeet. . .can be rather intimidating when you're 13-years-old.